The hostess with the most [anxieties]

I’m filled with gratitude for all of your lovely and understanding comments also sharing your own experiences on my last post! Thank you so much once again!

Who doesn’t love having guests? The joy of being the hostess, cooking up delicious foods for your guests and having a fun time? Bring on the guests for a girls’ night or a cooking date at my place. A longer stay, however? Sadly, that’s something bringing up lots of anxiety for me.

Let me give you an example: My cousin visited me for a few days last week – being one of the reasons why I ended up not posting earlier. While everybody else might have looked forward to a nice laid back time spent catching up on each other’s lives and simply having fun, I couldn’t stop worrying.

Seeing as she visited during the week there wasn’t much on offer regarding exciting events – not even a guided tour to explore the city. The one exhibition I had deemed interesting was closed and the weather didn’t exactly offer up for outdoor fun. Cue panic in my head. Why, you ask? It’s because I always want to be the perfect host offering a perfect stay for my guests. We ended up going shopping for a bit, chatting, going to the theatre and for runs. Even though it was fun I felt I should have had much more planned. Unfortunately,  the pressure I had on myself was visible to my cousin to say the least. No, it wasn’t completely awful but could have been more enjoyable had I been able to let go of the worries and relax.

I hope you don’t mind the random pictures in this post. My cousin doesn’t know about the blog so I can’t publish any from her stay.

Afterwards, I was angry of myself for not simply relishing in the short time with my cousin whom I hadn’t seen in quite some time. But instead I kept thinking of myself as “not enough fun”, too boring and not the kind of company you’d like to be around. Add to this the recipe I’d quickly picked out for us to prepare for lunch together being a fail – ouch! So ironically my wish for perfection ended up in quite the opposite. Sadly, this happens more often than I’d like to admit. I’m a constant over thinker, at best wanting to plan every minute of a guest’s stay.

Not wanting to end this on a negative note I can share some good experiences with semi-spontaneity from the weekend :). I had a special visitor over to just watch a movie. “Special” meaning I again wanted everything to be perfect but hadn’t decided on a movie yet and forgotten to buy snacks. What can I say? Instead of panicking like I usually do I just let it happen. It was a huge success quickly picking a fun movie we both enjoyed and I found a nice bar of chocolate hidden in one of my cupboards of for us to nibble on. Worrying about us not being able to keep talking after the movie turned out to be unnecessary, too. In fact, we had one of the most interesting and even deeper talks in a while – and it probably was my first time not trying to impress him. Maybe it was because I had learned from the preceding stay of my cousin. More of these great experiences in spontaneity for me, please.

Do you enjoy having guests over a for a longer stay? Or can anybody identify with feeling anxieties when it comes to hosting guests?

Are you good at spontaneity or need a plan?

What do you like to do with friends or family coming for a short visit? Advice is very welcome seeing as I’d love to host people more often – to challenge myself but also because, really,  how much fun is life without guests?!

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10 thoughts on “The hostess with the most [anxieties]

  1. Irina @ Chocolatea Time says:

    I’m a total people pleaser too and hosting anything (party, event, houseguest) gives me A LOT of anxiety. I’m always worried that people are bored or are not enjoying themselves, so I completely relate to what you felt with your cousin. I’m also someone who loves her routine, so falling out of it (i.e. spontaneity) has always been a challenge. Sorry for not having any good advice for you as I am clearly in need of some myself! :/

  2. Brittany says:

    I go back and forth with the idea of guests. I like them coming over, but sometimes get anxious knowing I have to plan things for it. I sometimes just like to lounge and be alone!! I guess that’s where I have to find the balance though.

    • letsgetupandlive says:

      It’s tricky to find that balance, right? I simply am so used to my “me time” for reading, cooking or just relaxing and taking it isn’t easily possible with guests around. I’m trying to work on this.

  3. Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie says:

    I am definitely a people-pleaser, so I get stressed when I have to have other people over. I’m so bad at making decisions in those kinds of situations because I’m constantly worrying if they’ll think my ideas for what to do are dumb. And I stress out over not being able to do the things I normally do, like work out and cook and go to bed at my usual time. I feel you on this for sure but I wish I had some advice!

    • letsgetupandlive says:

      Straining from my routine can be so hard for me, too. Luckily, my cousin didn’t mind but actually enjoyed going for a run on both days of her stay. It was fun to be able to chat and not work out alone. I know, though, that I have to work on not feeling the need to work out when having guests. It’s a work in progress …

  4. Kat says:

    Having guests CAN be absolutely wonderful,but for me,it honestly is nothing but stress.
    “What if I am too boring? What if we can’t find a topic to talk about? What if…?”
    So many open questions,so many things I cannot plan. That seriously freaks me out like hell.
    Of course,I still love having “special” guests… People I don’t see very often at all,simply because of the people. In this case,the anxieties are from second order.
    Elsewise,though… Oh,it’s hard.

  5. Lauren says:

    I can definitely relate. I stress about having a clean house, having the right food in the fridge/meals planned, having enough fun activities, etc. It can be difficult to let all that go and just live in the moment!

    • letsgetupandlive says:

      Ah yes, cleaning up. That is something I get stressed by easily, too. While I’ve noticed my friends don’t fuss too much about it when I’m visiting them. Still, I enjoy spending time at their because I don’t care for perfectly cleaned surfaces when at others’ places. It’s odd!

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