Marvelous in my Monday: Weekend of marvelousness

Hi there,

Did you have a good start to the week?

Mine started in a bright mood due to having had one of the best weekends in a long time. Seeing as it truly had a lot of marvelousness I’m linking up for the sweet Katie’s Marvelous in my Monday party.

What was so marvelous about my weekend? Well, I got to see three of my favourite people and spend quality time with them.

First up was a desperately needed visit – almost two months had passed since my last one! – at my parents’ place. They don’t live incredibly far away but enough to be on the road for about three hours. This might not seem like much but sometimes it’s just not worth traveling if I’d end up only having a day at home. Also, my parents enjoy have other plans for the weekend.

Being in the countryside makes me happy.

Most marvelous was simply spending quality time with my mum and dad. We didn’t have any exciting plans but didn’t feel we needed them. When you haven’t seen each other in that long simply being together is enough, don’t you think?

Marvelous 8+ hours of sleep in one of the quietest and most comfortable places in the world. While I like my flat in the city I can’t deny the fact that my heart still belongs to the countryside. It’s too beautiful a place to not miss it when I’m away from there. Home truly is where the heart is!

… or home is where the dancing robots are. My mum has fun putting up odd little decorations like these.

Marvelous was conquering a “fear food” by having rice pudding just like my mum used to prepare when I was younger again. Well, sort of … Mum used to prepare it “in bed” meaning she brought the milk and rice to a boil and then wrapped it in her thick blanket to finish. Did anybody else’s parents use that method, too? I got impatient after a while and continued to cook it on the stove, admittedly. Still a tasty treat I hadn’t had in a while due to fearing it might not be filling enough. Crazy ED thoughts …

Taking the tiny bit of leftovers back home with me. I’ll make sure to have rice pudding more often again.

Marvelous was skipping my run though I was slightly anxious due to not having worked out the day before, either. But spending time with my mum made up for it!

Marvelous was baking my parents’ favourite cookies and seeing their happy faces. My mum has been too busy to start Christmas cookie baking though she’d have liked to. My dad was jumping at the special cookies the recipe for which comes from my paternal grandma.

(sorry for the bad cookie picture but foggy days don’t make for the ideal photography lighting)

Not the special cookies mentioned but another family favourite I baked.

Marvelous was listening to Christmas compilations – hello, Michael Bublé – and not having my parents protest :D.

While leaving my parents again after only a scant two days was sad it was …

Marvelous to see the boy on Sunday. While it hadn’t been quite as long since we’d seen each other it still was about time J. No special plans here, either, just a movie which admittedly wasn’t thaaat great and spending lots of time with each other. The best way to end a week!

What was your favourite part of the weekend?

Which are your favourite Christmas songs or compilations?

Did you already start baking Christmas cookies? Do you have special secret family (cookie) recipes you make every year?

Whipping out the big girl panties

Some people are straight-forward “doers”, some are doubters. I, unfortunately, belong to the last category.

Whether it’s the decision of going to the cinema, buying a dress or trying a new recipe: I might initially like the idea but at latest the second thought is sure to include a “what if” or “but”.  This state of mind isn’t helpful in living life to the fullest. Not.at.all.

Oh how I miss those days …

Sure, I’m not necessarily unhappy with my life in general. But knowing how much I might miss out on with my unnecessary weighing up of the pro’s and con’s of just about everything … Not to forget the time that Is lost in the process, too.

Last week had me in for a – at least to me – pretty big decision. Knowing it might make a noticeable change to my life I kept putting it off at first – and was grieving my decision right away. So I put on my big girl pants and gave it another try. Boy am I glad I did. While it might not have changed my whole life, an important part of it was intensified for the moment – and hopefully will keep intensifying. Don’t you love me being vague here ;)?

Copius amounts of chocolate and tea are consumed in the the process of making my decisions.

You might have guessed already but putting things of is something I’m good at regarding food, too. How long had I been meaning to try Amanda’s Fig & Date Bars? Countless excuses were made up: “But they contain coconut oil and I’m already eating too much saturated fat”, “what if I end up not liking them?”,  “the recipe yields wayyy too much for one person.” Needless to say, the list went on.

Being seriously annoyed by my current food rut, though, the big girl pants came out once again. At 9 PM. Yes, I’m a night owl and get more productive as the day goes on. Having to whip up lunch for a full day of classes today in anyway – it’s a general agreement that the food our cafeteria serves is inedible – I turned on the oven, too.

Waiting for the bars to leave the oven was the hardest part.

Yet again, my worries were pointless. The bars turned out well and thanks to the “scary” coconut oil  have an amazingly buttery crust. Try them!

The big girl pants weren’t discharged to the wardrobe again, though. Preparing the bars was just one step. Taking them to class was the more difficult one as I tend to always pack the same snacks. Mission accomplished! Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures of the bars yet as I baked them at night, was in a hurry in the morning and returned home in the evening.

I’m excited to pull out the big girl pants again this weekend …

 

When was the last time you put on the big girl panties?

What are your favourite filling snacks for class/work aside from fruit? I need inspiration!

Let’s [not] talk about it

Hi everybody,

Bad blogger alert again. I’m sorry to have such an inconsistent posting schedule but I promise I’m still reading your blogs! Thanks once again for your comments on my posts – they really all are helpful and make me feel understood.

Being understood and listened to is actually something I find difficult in recovery. I truly can see how it’s hard to comprehend disordered eating behaviours or some of my irks and quirks. My family and friends do their best to understand but it’s not easy for them.

Feeling embarrassed for my ED and guilty for not doing better makes it hard for me to open up to others. I’m afraid of others’ comments, their judgement. Not even all of my friends “officially” know about my struggles. Sure, they might be able to tell from seeing me or the way I eat and behave in situations involving food – though I try my  best to be “normal”.

Seeing as I don’t have any pictures going with the topic I’ll just share a few random ones I like.

My current problem is something that’s especially hard for me to deal with and make a decision. There’s this boy I’ve been seeing for more than a year now with a longer break due to moving temporarily in between. We’re not quite a couple yet but – at least that’s what I’m hoping for – in the process. So here’s where the trouble comes in: I’m a firm believer of being all opened up and honest in a relationship. However, I’m not sure whether to talk to him about my ED or not.

As he once randomly told me he was trying to gain weight himself – though he’s in no way eating disordered or skinny – I admitted to trying, too. So while we do talk about this at times it hasn’t been a huge topic.

Also, he’s the first boy I’ve dated who hasn’t shown any “disgust” towards my body.  That’s not to say, though, that I’d dated a lot of boys before – I’m taking things slowly and am certainly not “that” kind of girl :).

I’m feeling embarrassed to ask this but I don’t know whom to talk to about these things. My friends are awesome but they’re at a loss, too. What do you think?

Are you genereally opened up about struggles – whether it be an ED or something else -, weird habits or characteristics? If you have a boyfriend: Did you let him know rightaway?

Do you have any recommendations on how to handle the situation? I’m afraid of scaring him away if opening up about these topics.

Because I want to

And yet again time has passed since I last blogged. This time there isn’t work or university to blame for it but fear. Fear of what you might have though of me. But as I’ve been meaning to be downright honest on my blog I’ll be.

Truth is, I felt a bit stuck and let the nasty of the two voices in my head take over during the past days. Making them unsuccessful in terms of recovery and me feel uncomfortable. Why I didn’t feel comfortable telling you? Having just posted about how to be happy and then finding myself stuck and unhappy: Not exactly following my own words, right?

Rainy day? Yes but it’s up to you to still see the beauty in it.

Today didn’t start out in the best way possible, either. But the difference was that I was determined not to let yet another day pass in that grumpy way. So when the nasty voice in my head told me to skip breakfast I didn’t. I was determined not to let this happen – because I wanted to. Breakfast happened and it was a good as well as new-to-me one.

As delicious as they are – long gone are the days when I considered an apple a full breakfast.

As I considered going to my favourite fitness class in the late afternoon, I needed to have lunch shortly afterwards. Uh oh, not easy and especially since I had planned on not letting myself repeat meals often anymore.

But guess what? I did have lunch, used the full amount of grains used in the recipe – decreasing them is a bad habit of mine – and didn’t bulk the dish up with more veggies. Success!

No missing the times when skipping lunch was a daily occurence. There are far too many good options to try.

Actually going to the class proved to be another challenge. I really like it because it’s intense, the trainer plays great music – doesn’t hurt he’s a cutie, too – and the atmosphere is good. Due to having spent my last semester in another city, though, I hadn’t been there for quite a while. The bad voice in my head tried to convince me I’d embarrass myself not being fit enough. In the end however, the good, brave voice won and I went there.

Some of my favourite flowers. What are yours?

And now I’m sitting here truly happy – because I did what I really wanted. Turns out being brave is rewarded in multiple ways: Not only did the class give me a rush of endorphins but I also met a girl I had gotten to know there earlier again. We exchanged phone numbers and plan on meeting for a cup of coffee sometime soon. I love making new friends! Seeing that she remembered me right away and was apparently happy to see me made my day.

Being daring is something I need to practice more often. And I will – because I want to!

To brighten my mood even further I’m going to listen to a few more songs of one of my current favourite singers whom I recently saw live:

 

And last but not least I might be late but …

World Vegan Day

……

Are you a daring person or have a hard time trying new things?

When was the last time you challenged yourself and what was it?

Do you prefer taking fitness classes or working out on your own?