Bad blogger alert again. I’m sorry to have such an inconsistent posting schedule but I promise I’m still reading your blogs! Thanks once again for your comments on my posts – they really all are helpful and make me feel understood.
Being understood and listened to is actually something I find difficult in recovery. I truly can see how it’s hard to comprehend disordered eating behaviours or some of my irks and quirks. My family and friends do their best to understand but it’s not easy for them.
Feeling embarrassed for my ED and guilty for not doing better makes it hard for me to open up to others. I’m afraid of others’ comments, their judgement. Not even all of my friends “officially” know about my struggles. Sure, they might be able to tell from seeing me or the way I eat and behave in situations involving food – though I try my best to be “normal”.
My current problem is something that’s especially hard for me to deal with and make a decision. There’s this boy I’ve been seeing for more than a year now with a longer break due to moving temporarily in between. We’re not quite a couple yet but – at least that’s what I’m hoping for – in the process. So here’s where the trouble comes in: I’m a firm believer of being all opened up and honest in a relationship. However, I’m not sure whether to talk to him about my ED or not.
As he once randomly told me he was trying to gain weight himself – though he’s in no way eating disordered or skinny – I admitted to trying, too. So while we do talk about this at times it hasn’t been a huge topic.
Also, he’s the first boy I’ve dated who hasn’t shown any “disgust” towards my body. That’s not to say, though, that I’d dated a lot of boys before – I’m taking things slowly and am certainly not “that” kind of girl :).
I’m feeling embarrassed to ask this but I don’t know whom to talk to about these things. My friends are awesome but they’re at a loss, too. What do you think?
Are you genereally opened up about struggles – whether it be an ED or something else -, weird habits or characteristics? If you have a boyfriend: Did you let him know rightaway?
Do you have any recommendations on how to handle the situation? I’m afraid of scaring him away if opening up about these topics.