Have any of you secretly double-checked their calendars today, too? It can’t really be July 3rd already now?!
Seeing as there’s no avail in trying to pretend it was June still: Let’s get onto the food on this first What I ate Wednesday of the month! Despite June being over I hope Jenn doesn’t mind me sticking with the topic of snacking once more – and a very specific snack attitude, that is.
During one of my recent conversations with Heather I mentioned a curious habit of mine. The “If it doesn’t hit the plate it doesn’t count” approach to eating. Even during the deepest times of my ED I’d never given up on any foods – besides the obvious non-vegetarian ones but I’m not counting them here. Chocolate? French Fries? Baked good? Never passed up the chance for a bite. A bite only, that is. Never in the world would I have ordered a whole plate of fries or a rich dessert myself. But I happily encouraged others to do so because it meant I’d be able to sneak bits and pieces here and there.
Having a huge sweet tooth it shouldn’t come off as much of a surprise that baking is a hobby of mine. It’s also no surprise that I prefer the process over the final result. Sampling the batter, after all, means that nothing hits the plate. A dip here, a few crumbs there – it’s never a full-sized snack or even meal. So I’m not even lying when telling people I ate the treats I’m offering them. Just not telling the full truth of never actually having eaten a full serving. Little lies – but lies, still.
On the upside this constant snacking around never gave me the feeling of fully depriving myself during my ED. On the downside, though, it never fully satisfied me. Also, what was true for sampling obviously didn’t help meal times with the family. The last time I ate a full plate of a dish cooked by my mum? I’m ashamed to admit I honestly don’t remember it. It’s not because I didn’t like what she prepares but her generous use of oil and other fear foods of mine. While it wasn’t her cooking the meal at least Christmas was an occasion I was able to relax about foods prepared by others. Only it’s truly been this long already.
However much I like snacking and sampling I’m also longing to sit down to a family lunch or dinner without worrying about amounts of certain ingredients. I want to be able to go for ice cream or lunch with friends spontaneously. Nothing will change, though, if I don’t get proactive – taking baby steps, yes, but taking them regularly. First plan of action: Eating out with friends. Next week, no last-minute chickening out. Let’s see how this goes …
Happiness inducing today: Seeing the orchid on my windowsill in full bloom.
“If it doesn’t hit the plate it doesn’t count”: do you use that approach to snacking, too?
Do you deal well with meals prepared by others? Advice on how to tackle my fears would be much appreciated.