Swapping fear with curiosity

Wow. Once more I’m speechless. Blown away by just how amazing all of you are. After clicking publish on that post I went to bed telling myself I’d easily be able to delete it again the next morning if without too many people having seen it. Now, though, I’m so glad I posted it. Not only do I feel better having opened up [not usually an easy task for me] but every single of your comments yesterday helped me in feeling more at ease with my current situation. While your kind and reassuring words might not have taken all worries away* they helped a lot already. Words can’t actually express my gratitude but still: Thank you so much!

* Because believe me: for a constant over-worrier like me it’d at least take Adam Levine asking me to marry him to forget all my worries [and likely pretty much everything else, too] in an instant ;). So nobody will ever be able to make me shake off all my anxiety. In case you knew Adam, however …

Okay, enough digressing [that’s what happens when you’re listening to Maroon Five while drafting your posts :D]. I guess you came for the food today, though, so I’ll keep any job search-related topics for another day – it’s What I ate Wednesday after all.

The one indisputable upside of currently not working is the extra time I have to prepare and eat food in the comfort of my home. As I hinted yesterday it’s not positive on all terms for me but – promise – I won’t get into it now. Let’s have a look at some of my recent creations and realisations instead. Don’t forget to raise your cup of coffee for a toast to our amazing host Jenn who’s still organizing WIAW even as a new mom – today hopefully with at least with some decaf java at hand, too.

WIAW_halloween button

Looking back at my old posts I can still tell my fear of working with certain ingredients. Not adding that extra bit of fat that might have heighthened the taste. Keeping the amount of grains involved ridiculously low [at breakfast or lunch at least] or not going for any at all. Can you talk about high-volume vegetable-filled dishes resulting in – at times – painfully bloated yet still not satisfied stomach? No fun. Nowadays I still need to push myself at times but I don’t stress about weighing every ingredient meticulously.

Savoury bread pudding

Cooking used to be a lot less fun and coming up with recipes myself hardly happened. The constant worry of the final dish not turning out and me wasting calories kept me from experimenting for the most part. And if I actually did the result was either disappointing in the way it looked already or – in those cases it met that criteria – was far from a taste experience. These days it can actually be the other way around: many of the best dishes I made lately looked far from appetizing but were so good. This savoury sauerkraut bread pudding was another one for that category … mmmh.

Plate

Just a year – or maybe only a few months? – ago I wouldn’t have tried a recipe like this. Using ingredients [other than vegetables] that didn’t come with a nutrition label – especially if they were high in carbs like the [delicious!] whole wheat roll in this dish – was out of question. I stuck to my rotation of a handful of ‘safe’ dishes that I knew would fill me up for hours on repeat. Always hoping I wouldn’t get a longing for a snack in between. Especially if I craved foods I hadn’t accounted for in my neatly scribbled down plan for the day. And now? It feels like I was step by step swapping fear with a curiosity of constantly trying new dishes.

Kabocha

Will there ever be enough kabocha in a day?

While I’m still not at a point where I don’t care at all I’ve loosened up noticably. I’ll usually still start out with a basic recipe idea in head. But if I have the idea to add some extra ingredients while cooking – almond butter was the secret to making the casserole below even more delicious – it doesn’t stress me out as much anymore. I used to try and figure out the calories while cooking only to avoid any extra and rather go with a bland dish.

Spaghetti squash casserole

The “recipes” I created back then were far from worth sharing. All those in this post, however? Most definitely are. Now if only I was better at making decisions. Which one to share first?! Seems like I had really serious decisions to make, huh ;)? Hm, I might just have to throw the dice for that one – and maybe the decision on a roommate, too, because no, I haven’t picked one yet.

Ending this post on a sweet note again how about some more of my homemade chocolates?

Chocqlate 2

Happy Wednesday!

Happiness inducing today: Yes, I’m a broken record but it truly bears repeating: your comments on my last post.

What was the last ‘looks like mush but tastes like heaven’ dish you had?

Has the way you cook changed in past years? If so: how?

And amit it: wouldn’t Adam Levine asking to marry you make all your worries futile, too ;)?

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23 thoughts on “Swapping fear with curiosity

  1. lucie@fitswisschick says:

    Everything looks so goooood! And you can be so proud on yourself girl! I know how it is to cook with fear and to only eat ‘safe’ dishes which taste like nothing.
    I’d definitely say that I would LOVE to try all these creations on this post, especially the chocolate of course 🙂 And NO, there can NEVER be too much kabocha in one day. So obsessed!
    My eggy oats always look pretty strange and not very beautiful, but they do taste delicious. Happy Wednesday!

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      What a kabocha-crazy blogging crowd we are ;)!
      I’ve always been impressed by other bloggers’ beautiful bowls of oatmeal. Maybe I’m just too lazy to arrange mine – taste over appearance – but that’s the main reason I haven’t posted them yet. Your chocolate eggy oats, though? Make me crave a bowl just looking at them.

  2. Davida @The Healthy Maven says:

    YES! How I cook has definitely changed. I used to avoid fat like the plague, which is so sad. Fat does NOT make you fat. Learning that lesson changed everything for me. Now I add every form of nut/seed butter, avocado, coconut oil, olive oil under the sun because damn they are good!

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      Just looking back at the meticulously measured tiny amounts of nut butter I ate back in the day is ridiculous. And coconut oil adds such a lot of flavour to any dish – it’s amazing. I wish more people would understand the equation of fat not necessarily making you fat.

  3. Amy @ The Little Honey Bee says:

    How are you alwayssss so spot on?! Love this post (as per usual). I can totally relate to weighing, measuring (confession I still measure nut butter because I have no nut butter self control haha) when I was trying to be healthier. I am definitely not perfect yet but I am muchhhh more relaxed than I was a year ago, or even a month ago when I was concerned with fat, or calories that will “undo” all my hard work and magically put back all my weight.

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      Nut butter is one of those foods I still ‘need’ to measure as well. Self control isn’t even part of my vocabulary when talking about nut butters. It’s a slight problem …
      Makes me so happy to hear you’ve become more relaxed about what you eat, too. A happy little honey bee is way better than a worried one :).

  4. Carly @ Snack Therapy says:

    I completely relate to this post. When making recipes, I used to measure out (and write down) every single ingredient, input it all into My Fitness Pal, figure out the calories per x amount of servings, then portion it out.

    Exhausting. Now I can just COOK. And just live.

    Great post <3.

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      “Now I can just COOK. And just live.” -> Yes to that! It’s my ultimate goal to get to that point [again].
      Thinking about having foregone even foods like onions (!) when calculating the nutritional stats months ago because they added those few calories “too much” is just sad. Definitely exhausting.

  5. catfoodisgoodforyou says:

    I must confess pretty much all my meals look like mush but they’re always the best tasting ones! Taste over beauty 😉 I also can massively relate to the restrictive eating in my past affecting my cooking-I was usually too hungry to spend time on preparing food-but now I love putting more into recipes and trying new things. Progress tastes great 🙂

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      Oh yes, I remember many a meals thrown together in a hurry to calm down a hangry stomach, too. I agree it’s a lot nicer to actually put an effort into the preparation and be rewarded with awesome dishes.

  6. Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli says:

    “Can you talk about high-volume vegetable-filled dishes resulting in – at times – painfully bloated yet still not satisfied stomach?” <- Umm, yes! We can talk all damn DAY about that and how I am SOOOOO glad that is now behind us! I would never EVER want to go back to that! I love that you are getting a bit more comfortable with not having to measure everything out when cooking. It's such a free feeling not being tied down to measuring spoons/cups and numbers…and the best part, now you get to explore your tastebuds and have FUN in the kitchen!

    I don't care what you say, that savory bread pudding looks incredible!! And if almond butter was the secret ingredient, that just makes me want it even MORE!! Please, please, please share!!

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      Fun in the kitchen = the best! Fussing over the tiniest bit ‘too much’ of an ingredient could totally take the fun out of cooking for me. While I’m not at the point of not measuring anything yet it’s gotten a lot better already.
      Oh and my bad: I actually used cashew butter in the bread pudding and almond butter in the spaghetti squash bake. But after you commented I had the bread pudding again with AB and it was delicious [maybe even better], too. So thanks for that!

  7. Arman @ thebigmansworld says:

    Urgh, Je deteste bloglovin’! Something must be wrong- your post JUST came up when its usually one of the first?

    I can relate to so much- measuring, weighing, like Davida, I avoided fat for so long. Urgh. Filling up on vegetables- I probably ate enough vegetables to fit my 5 a day for life. I’m so stoked to now appreciate cooking and using fat and real ingredients.

    Ugly food > pretty good. Truth.

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      Somehow it makes me happy to hear my posts are [usually] one of the first in your reader :). Easily pleased? Yes. I hear you on the Bloglovin’ troubles, though. If it continues we might need to let them know!?
      “I probably ate enough vegetables to fit my 5 a day for life.” -> story of my [past] life, too. Vegetabes with a sauce made entirely from vegetables and, oh, how about a side of vegetables? Bo-ring.

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      There really can’t be. Unfortunately, though, stores around here have conspired against me and holding off the kabocha for the past weeks. I’m already going through withdrawals ;).

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