Care to comment? [an issue on my mind]

By far my favourite kind of posts are those where the discussion in the comments sparks the idea for another post – and that’s just what happened after my recent post. Like I mentioned I wasn’t sure if I should post it assuming everybody else would have a different opinion and not understand mine about not sharing. Then again, disagreement and seeing topics from another perspective is what enlivens conversations and is the beauty of blogging. Respectful, comprehensive commentary, that is. And then there are anonymus comments with the sole intention of letting you know “wrong/mean/stupid!”. It was one of that kind that inspired me to think about an issue that I’d only read about on other blogs but never delved into deeper myself before: comment policies. Just like last time I’m curious and can’t wait to hear your approach.  Let’s [dis]agree and think out loud!

Thinking-Out-Loud

Among the many things I didn’t know when I started blogging was that it’d attract not only kind but snarky or even hurtful comments, too – and that it might be wise to set up a comment policy for yourself. When I started blogging I approved of every comment – spam aside – and tried to answer them, too. Numerous times getting defensive when a commenter made some snarky notes on what I’d written [or in most cases eaten but more on that below]. Honestly, I absolutely dislike not approving a comment. It feels like I didn’t pay attention to a reader and I want everyone who stops by to know I read and – even if I respond with a major delay or not at all [<- sorry! Trying to stop being that forgetful about it!] – every single one makes me happy.

I’m  appreciative of every comment – anonymus or not. In fact, some of the anonymus comments I received early on when I’d just started blogging – and at that recovering – were helpful. Hidden by the cloak of anonymity these people didn’t hesitate to point out when they thought I was cheating myself and still restricting while in denial [I was]. Reading and thinking about their comments that way helped me move on, change and while probably a little hurtful or harsh at first I’m thankful for them in hindsight.

It’d be naive to think you could blog and live in a bubble of ignorance where yours is the only acceptable opinion. Blogging thrives off of exchange with alike andnon-alike minds. If a comment allows for any kind of further conversation I’ll approve it and see where it leads. “You’re mean/ dumb/ ugly/ can’t spell/ …” doesn’t lead anywhere. It’s an irrelevant personal accusation and if you feel the need to say it – again: mail me. Like the above examples of helpful anonymus comments show I don’t think I’m perfect in every – or any – aspect of life. In fact, I feel like for many of us the feedback of an outsider can help us realize truths we didn’t see before. Criticism – of the constructive kind – is welcome.

Rude and accusing comments – in real life just like in the blog world – often come from a place of … I’ll be honest: if your only intention is to bring others down: don’t waste your time. It’s cowardly to attack others from the depths of anonymity in the online community. Try to say only what you’d openly confront people with if you met them on the street. And even if you choose to post anonymically using a pseudonym – which I absolutely understand and respect – you should have the courage to leave a valid e-mail adress only visible to me. If you’re genuinely interested in me responding to you, that is. If not: why comment in anyway?

I’m genuinely interested in the exchange with readers – bloggers and non-bloggers alike – and most definitely not just if you agree with what I’m writing. What I like a lot about blogging is the large spectrum of different people and their views and opinions on all kinds of topics.   Even if I have a certain attitude towards an issue I’m not opposed to changing it if I hear convincing arguments in favour of a different standpoint. In fact,  I’d be disappointed and bored if everybody agreed with me all of the time.  side note: Yes, dad, I enjoy our arguments where two stubborn heads collide.

Let's talk

What all of this means for the comment policy I didn’t realize I’d started practicing somewhere along the way? I will allow negative comments if they have a fundament and allow for further discussion or add to the conversation. Comments that are clearly just meant to hurt or non-sensical ones distract and dillute any serious interaction going on.

On that note I invite you to disagree with me in the comments.  Prove me wrong. Tell me why your comment policy is better or what it entails.  I’m looking forward to the exchange and you might convince me to change my mind here.

Happiness-inducing today: Overhearing a litttle boy [maybe around 3 years old?] at the grocery telling his mum he loved here in the middle of the freezer aisle. Kids’ spontaneity and honestly warms my heart.

Stay in touch!

Twitter: @MissPolkadot21
Pinterest: MissPolkadot21
Bloglovin’: Let’s get living

 

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13 thoughts on “Care to comment? [an issue on my mind]

  1. Brittany says:

    I think your approach to approving all comments (aside from blatantly rude ones) is great. It also shows your sense of strength by hopefully not allowing the negative feedback to affect your opinions. I’ve always approved every comment submitted to my blog, and haven’t had to deal with any controversial comments. Then again I don’t blog about many things that are controversial!

  2. Amanda @ .running with spoons. says:

    Ohhh the wonderful veil of anonymity — I can’t help but laugh when people resort to it. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten any snarky comments, and while they really used to bug me back in the day, it’s gotten to a point where, if anything, they make me laugh big time. What people say about someone else says more about who THEY are as a person rather than who they’re talking about. If they want to be negative and straight up rude, then I mostly feel sorry for them — and respond in a ridiculously overly nice way while having a good giggle :mrgreen: #notimeformeanies

  3. Aja says:

    I think that your comment policy is good. I don’t really get enough readers to get negative comments so I don’t have an approving policy. But I do see a lot of terrible anon comments on tumblr.

  4. Ms.J says:

    My first thought when I see an anonymous baseless, useless snipe is “what a duck, get a life”. And that’s on others blogs alone! I’ve never dealt with a snarky stab myself; I’m not going to lie that as I enjoy a heated debate and discussion I would respond 😀 ..or retort with a short sarcastic remark – as I would do in a real life encounter. I completely respect and admire your approach: its a smart move to brush immature cattiness aside instead of allowing it to take up unnecessary brain space.

  5. Charlotte @ Commitness to Fitness says:

    Yeahhh I was recently torn apart in an online forum when someone posted a LIE about me and everyone sitting behind the comfort of their keyboards got in on the slaughter.Not cool. However, when it comes to comments on my own blog, I do tend to accept all of them… however, it would take is one that reallllly rubs me the wrong way and NOPE. my blog, my rules 🙂

  6. brokencookiesdontcount says:

    This is my first Thinking Out Loud and I must admit I hesitated for several months because I didn’t want offend anyone with my opinions. I’m always careful about what I post, opinion wise, in my posts. I’m fortunate that I haven’t had much trouble with snarky comments. Sometimes I have a hard time deciding if something is spam or not. The blogging life is fun! Have a great day!

  7. Irina says:

    Ah the internet and it’s anonymous nature is an interesting thing indeed. While I don’t get enough readers to actually receive negative comments, I can certainly see the pain & confusion that may come from an overly mean comment. I guess it comes with the territory though and it shouldn’t be a reason to stop blogging if you love it 🙂 (so don’t even think about stopping missy, even though I know you’re not)

  8. Kaila @healthyhelperblog! says:

    Oh I know first hand what it’s like to be torn apart by anonymous bullies online. Not fun. But I learned that that stuff can only bother me if I let it. So I stopped reading into it and mostly just choose to ignore it now. You’re never going please everyone and for all the people you connect with in a positive way, there is bound to be someone who finds fault with you. It’s just sad that people have to resort to cruelty to make themselves feel better. I have a pretty similar comment policy. I let anything through unless it’s a blatant attack on me as a person.

  9. Angela says:

    My question is – so what if someone makes a rude comment? Why hide it from the public? I mean doesn’t it waste so much time sifting through what comments you are willing to publish and what comments bother you?

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      Thanks for asking, Angela. I don’t mean to hide it from the public. But personally, I find non-sense, meaningless or hurtful comments to distract from the posts original content and interrupt the flow of actual conversation going on in the comments. And it actually doesn’t take me any more time than usual to go through the comments: negative or not I have to approve every new commenter’s first one in anyway. Hope that helps understand it a little better. (:

  10. IHeartVegetables says:

    I do allow negative comments. And admittedly, I tend to take them personally and get hurt haha but it HAS sparked better posts and I do like to hear people’s feedback, even when it isn’t nice!

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      That sounds like a good policy and I agree feedback is key – even or especially negative one because it helps see which areas we might be able to improve in. Though there’s obviously a difference between hurt- and helpful comments.

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