Stop saying this one word.

Sorry.
Sorry for keeping you in the unknown about that word.
Sorry for taking up your time to click through and find out.
Sorry for saying this.
Sorry for doing that.

Does this sound familiar?

When did sorry become our go-to word for starting sentences?

If you messed up big time and have a reason to excuse then by all means do. But even in this case there’s a limit to how often you should and need to apologize. Deciding to stop excusing at some point is not rude or giving the impression you weren’t truly sorry about what happened [just me feeling this way?] but a matter of respect. Self-respect, that is. Excusing once makes you a polite person able to see her faults. Every additional excuse for the same mistake doesn’t add to this but lets you appear insecure. In the worst case it makes you feel guilty about being you. Because yes, you obviously acted in a certain way because of your experiences, thoughts, expectations, …. So clearly that means there’s a fault in you as a person, no?? Well, allow me interrupt you [and my own overthinking brain in situations where it gets to that point] here: you’re not. We all make mistakes. We’re human after all.

Source of this wonderful picture

But when you stop apologizing [or at least so damn often] you’re also preserving the respect others feel towards you. Apologizing to no end makes you a smaller person than you are. You, like everybody else, deserve respect. Yes, you – like everybody else – have flaws. But they don’t mean you were less of a person. We can’t let our flaws define us. If you need to/feel you had to excuse for everything and anything you do and say to a certain person you might want to reevaluate that relationship. I agree with the popular advice of cutting toxic relationships out of your life and a relationship where one person is constantly excusing and not showing to the fullest can hardly be called beneficial. Nobody can truly be themselves in a friendship like this and life’s too short to spend time ‘censoring’ yourself in your words and the way you act towards others.

Flowers at home

Just like regret about missed opportunities making mistakes offers us another chance to learn. To rethink situations. To consciously work on acting differently the next time. As much as we might wish to turn back time – and trust me I often long for this option – there’s no way to do it. So what are we to do? Move on. After we said sorry – once! – obviously.

The more mistakes we make, the more we learn. And …

This couldn’t be true and definitely is some relief for me and – I guess – fellow overthinkers/over-apologizers. But some thinking out loud is always encouraged.

Happiness-inducing today: A [semi-]early morning walk.

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No questions today – #sorrynotsorryaboutthat . Let me know whatever comes to your mind on the topic.
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7 thoughts on “Stop saying this one word.

  1. Stacie@SimplySouthernStacie says:

    I am so bad about saying this word when it’s not even necessary! I guess I just use it as a default to try to be nice? I once had a boss who told me to stop saying sorry so much because I was then admitting that there was an error, even if there wasn’t, and that I needed to “own” what I do more unapologetic ally. That really stuck with me and I’ve been trying to work on it since.

  2. Emma @em-poweredwellness says:

    I’ve read that women are way more likely to say “sorry” before they speak up–and to use qualifiers like “just” in their sentences–than men are. So now I am trying to stand up for myself as a woman and say what I mean, not sorry about it 🙂

  3. Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves says:

    Mmm yes. I am definitely guilty of saying sorry for things that I shouldn’t be sorry for. I have a very self-conscious personality, and I hate letting other people down, so it’s hard for me to not say sorry. I also have a couple friends who say sorry to EVERYTHING, and we tease her/convince her to not be so sorry all the time. For one, it can get a little distressing, and also, we need to stand by what we do and say at times!

  4. Erin@BeetsPerMinute says:

    I constantly apologize to my husband about things and he’s always asking me why I’m sorry. I don’t even know if I am sorry some of the times I say it either. In other situations I have been super aware of empty apologies or blanket apologies, because I took two seminars in college on discourse between women and men — it was proven time and time again that women apologize more than men and children, and typically over things they don’t need to make apologies for. This post was a good reminder to keep myself in check!

  5. jillconyers says:

    A few years ago I realized I was saying sorry and either a. it wasn’t necessary or b. it was misunderstood. Like when people say you have nothing to be sorry about and my point was actually I’m sorry this is happening to you. It’s such a strange phenomenon and I’ve noticed my son says it often.

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