It’s been a while again, I know, I know. Not intentionally.
This will probably sound ridiculous but one of the reasons for feeling unwell was my tongue. Or more specifically an inflammation of my tongue – no more details because it’s gross. If you’ve never dealt with it [and I really hope you haven’t]: it’s beyond painful. Think being unable to swallow, eat and talk without [at times excruciating] pain. Yes, it’s great fun. Not. Not eating enough, not sleeping enough and a resulting overall nasty feeling led to my absence from most things blogging.
Additonally, though, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and very what I call “in my mind” lately. There’s been too much happening for me to process. I’ll admit to letting these thoughts bottle up because I can’t seem to overlook all of them at once. Where to even start … Could I have churned out a random fun post? Possibly. But it didn’t feel right. I sat down to publish a few times but the thoughts just wouldn’t flow naturally. This once again isn’t asking for sympathy but explaining my absence from the blog world because I feel you deserve an explanation. Also because I have yet to reply to your comments or – and I’m genuinely sorry for this – caught up/commented on more than a handful other blogs. My mind just wasn’t into it. I’ll be back at it this week, promise.
And because that’s getting too long for an intro let’s talk about the things I did during my time away. Thanks as always to our wonderful host Meg who always has some kind and encouraging words for everybody who struggles to see their accomplishments or the happiness in life.
Worked the usual five days. More or less successfully [see above note on tongue] but I got to learn a new skill – if you can really call it that – by asking a colleague how I could take something of her work load.
If you read my post yesterday you might already have guessed I’m not entirely fond of my current job. Yet that’s not to say it meant I wasn’t taking my tasks seriously or being a grumpy grump at the office. No, this isn’t how I want to spend my life but while I’m here I want to help where I can – whether that’s bringing in no-bake brownies or taking some work off of others’ shoulders. It’s about making the best of a not-so-good situation. Nobody wants to go through their week hating their everyday life.
Baked a quadruple batch of my Healthy Maple Buckwheat Granola for the colleague I created it for in the first place. She actually paid me for it – for the ingredients, mind you because I wouldn’t dare asking for a compensation for the ‘work’ that goes into it – unlike the first time which felt weird but at the same time like an appreciation of the work I enjoy doing. Opening a little café is a [not-so-]secret plan B [or C] my sister and I have been having for ages. Though I have no illusions of how tough that is so getting paid for baked goods or other goodies occasionally is a sweet compromise.
Spent a small fortune on medication. Some of which I ended up using just once – one not at all, actually – because it didn’t help. Also, I’m very anti-medication, only reluctantly taking what’s deemed necessary by health professionals.
Worked out and really enjoyed it. Ideally, I’d like to join a gym offering classes again but that’s not going to happen with the lack of options where I currently live. I miss it.
On Friday I felt overwhelmed by too many thoughts and things I wanted to do, then tuned into my intuition – and lay down. Not a nap, just lying down on my bed for however long felt good. It’s not a big deal for others but it had never occurred to me that saing ‘okay, this all isn’t going anywhere’ and -fully- resting might just be my solution. Sometimes it’s the obvious solutions we have the hardest time seeing, no?
Ate through the pain. Honestly, it would have been so very easy – and definitely way less painful – to just not eat much this past week. But I know the vicious cycle of this. It’s sad to admit but my ED still finds its ways of creeping up on me in bad times.
Baked these absolutely amazing vegan and gluten-free brownies. I’ve made them before and knew it was their time to shine again. Because …
I secured a baking opportunity for an event my parents’ company is going to hold this week. A quadruple batch of these for next Friday? Ooookay. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Created another recipe for the blog that I once again have no visual proof of yet because … [insert me ranting about the bad weather and at that lighting situation in fall]. I do have that cookie recipe I mentioned before scheduled for this week, though. Flourless Hazelnut Shortbread is coming your way soon!
The weekend included the usual: sleeping in, blog work. Assisting my sister in her quest for new recipes [“Can’t I use molasses instead of maple syrup in those brownies?” – “Are. You. Kidding. Me??” – always a fun time ;)]. Cleaning up. Meal prep.
Despite the pain and a heavy thoughts it wasn’t the worst week. A day without a smile is a lost day and a week of overlooking the silver linings just the same. Life doesn’t feel fair or over the top happy right now but I’m still looking forward. To brighter times and for now obviously to a new week.
Happiness-inducing today: Feeling much better – tongue-wise 🙂 – today. Thank gooness! I’m not sure how much longer I could have endured the pain – and the fact eating peanut butter wasn’t enjoyable.
When do you usually write your Weeks in Review?