Rinse. Repeat. Rest.

Some weeks can only be summed  up with ‘same old, same old’. Or as I would say about mine: Rinse. Repeat. Move on. In some cases like washing dishes the rinsing is in fact literal. Truth is that my days flew by mostly go go go and the weekend was over in the blink of an eye. It’s these weeks that make me feel unsatisfied and hard on myself. Did I really just let another week of life I was gifted pass by without major accomplishments?  Gifted – I know some might find this a little ‘woo woo’ but the way I see things we never know how much more time on this planet we get. Work is definitely playing a role in my feelings towards the fleetingness [probably not a word] of life. Anyway, it was Meg herself, commenting on another comment in my previous Week in Review who reminded me/us that sometimes just working and keeping ourselves fed is accomplishment enough. I’m trying to convince myself it’s true.

Truth is – and it’s funny we all seem to feel the same here; even those people we would see as superwomen jugling way busier lives – we will probably always feel we’re falling short compared to others. Even if – that’s okay.* We’re all just doing our best in this game called life. Every day. Guilting ourselves over past shortcomings doesn’t help. Making changes in the future does.

Jumping into the past and in writing this post the future already: here’s to another Week in Review with Meg.

*yes, I’m totally giving myself a pep talk here, too. Spealing of which: Here’s more pep talk if you need some right now. We all do at times.

Week in Review

Worked five days. It was an unsatisfactory week in that I caught up with my to-dos early on, new tasks only coming in slowly for the first few days but on the upside I got to leave earlier on Monday and Tuesday. I’m aware it’s an odd thing to ‘complain’ about a lighter workload but I like being of help and don’t enjoy waiting around for tasks coming up. On the upside, I had a constructive conversation with my [female] boss that I’d worried about unnecessarily beforehand. It wasn’t a big deal but simply to clarify the right handling of some tasks I wasn’t entirely sure about.

Posted twice: theWeek in Review and a collection of posts worth reading.

Spontaneously went on a long walk with my dad on Monday. Getting home early on this first beautifully sunny day in a while I wanted to get outside again soon and he happened to have similar plans, asking if I wanted to join him. Long time readers will know we have a difficult relationship so I agreed with slight unease. Yet in the end, it turned – one short blip aside – out to be an enlightening conversation, finding out more about my dad. It might sound odd but I think we’ll never stop learning or know all about even the people closest to us.

Flowers

[Throwback picture because #bloggerfail of not taking pictures again.]

Went on multiple walks by myself – soaking up the sun while it was still here – and one with my sister, husband, P. and some of their friends.

Finally went and ordered new inlays for my shoes. An item that’s been on my to-do list for a very long time  … Isn’t it funny how some of those tasks – unfortunately not all of them – we keep postponing end up way less uncomfortable or in this case time-intense than expected? Making that first step is the only barrier.

Spent time with my mum, P. and abovementioned friends’ five-year-old daughter which involved me reading her a book and randomly explaining gravity. It’s sweet to watch children play, explore and understand the world bit by bit. Marveling at what seems so trivial to us as adults. I miss this a little at times.

Hung out with my sister, her husband and P. on Sunday before dropping them off at the station. Their visit was short this time around so my happiness batteries could already take some recharging.

Ran errands for my parents a few times. This involved talking to the cheese guy again. Just to clarify this: No, I’m not into him but it’s nice noticing that uncomfortable feeling disappearing a bit.

Was in bed earlier than in many past months again. It’s not easy for night owl me but also not as much of a struggle as it used to be.

PJ pants_striped_bed

Worked out five days and – the actual accomplishment – spontaneously rested on Saturday. The reason was that I realized I wasn’t going about it for the right reason. Saturday night I found myself anxious about a few things, mostly because I hadn’t crossed off a satisfactory amount of tasks on my to-do list. Previously, I would have worked out, then made an effort at catching up on multiple tasks at once and delayed dinner until forever. Instead, I sat with the anxiety, made some tea, had dinner and finished my good good links. While my workouts [unfortunately; I miss those intense classes I used to visit while still living in another city] aren’t super intense or long I realized I was depending on them to stay calm and feel in control too much. So I took a cue from Cora and showed myself some compassion  [or tried to because the guilt still lingered] rather than rely on exercise. It’s still a process of learning to rest and truly relax. How can something like this be so hard for some of us?

…and now it’s Monday again. The day dreaded by so many people yet I’m looking forward to it. Granted, I could do without the early mornings. On the upside are getting out and socialising again, particularly as I’ll be working at the front desk all week, subbing in for a colleague who’s on holiday.  Things could definitely look worse for me. I hope you have something to look forward to on this first page of a new week, too – and even if it’s ‘just’ sunshine, catching up with colleagues or friends, …

 

Happy Monday!

 

Happiness-inducing today: Goofing around with P.

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13 thoughts on “Rinse. Repeat. Rest.

  1. Emily Swanson says:

    It can be so tough for me to go to bed at night, but I’m always thankful when I do get in bed before midnight. O_O This week I’m grateful to have learned more about God’s grace and goodness, in puppies, and good food, and recovery wins, and all that awesomeness!

    And I totally agree that the people we love most; we never stop learning about them. It’s a wonderful, humbling journey.

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      Before midnight would be amazing for me but it hasn’t happened in a long time.
      It truly is wonderful to think that by varying the topics we venture into and asking questions we will never stop learning more about people and places we thought we knew already.

  2. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets says:

    There was a lot of goodness in this week, between conversations with the cheese guy, pep talks, fresh flowers, time with little P, and the wonderful walk with your dad, although this was my favorite: “Previously, I would have worked out, then made an effort at catching up on multiple tasks at once and delayed dinner until forever. Instead, I sat with the anxiety, made some tea, had dinner and finished my good good links.” Change comes from being uncomfortable. I’m so proud of you for this. Keep doing it, it will get easier over time.

    Happy Monday and thanks for linking up.

  3. mylittletablespoon says:

    Yay for nice weather. We’ve been blessed with some sunshine in these past couple days, so getting outside for some walks with my family has been such a gift. I’m glad we both experienced this. I wish your family visit with Little P didn’t have to be shorter this week, but I hope you can find a way to keep those happiness batteries charged for yourself.
    I am proud of you. Choosing our to-do list items and things we know we should/want to do…instead of our expected/planned exercise… is a big thing. It continues to make me feel all sorts of weird/strange/bizarre/wonderful/hard when I do this. I really think though, the more we realize when we are exercising for the wrong reasons, and choose relaxation, other tasks or time with others over our workouts, the easier and less-weird feeling it does become.
    I hope you have some soul-filling conversations with others this week – strangers and colleagues and all.

  4. Kat says:

    Oh gosh – so much of my life is literally “same old, same old.” I have this thing about living within my box – something that I’m trying really hard to break free of! I want to be more spontaneous and out there because if not, I feel like Im going to spend my life doing the “same old, same old”. I seriously look up to people who strive to be spontaneous!!

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      “If not I feel like I’m going to spend my whole life doing the ‘same old, same old'” – girl, you wrote out my very fears. It’s what has been on my mind for months now. It sounds like we both need to work on our spontaneity stat!

  5. Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar says:

    I’m so with Meg. Working and feeding yourself is an accomplishment. I know a lot of bloggers in the blog world keep ourselves really busy–I certainly do (grad school :P)–but there’s no shame in relaxing and having down time too. Lives are to be enjoyed.
    Glad to hear about the walk with your dad. You’re so insightful about how we can continue to learn things about people we’ve known our whole lives.
    I also know what you mean about not having a lot to do at work. It is weirdly dissatisfying.
    Your pj pants are the cutest thing. 😉

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      You’re too sweet, Joyce. I’ve simply found that while we often long to be elsewhere and feel we knew “everything” about the people and places around us we might not actually. Sometimes it just takes asking different questions or walking a new path to see as of yet undiscovered things.
      I’m glad you got what I mean about the dissatisfaction about not enough to do at work.

  6. chasetheredgrape says:

    You know what, sometimes we all need to give ourselves a pep talk, even if it is simply to remind us to stop being so hard on ourselves and to give ourselves the compassion we deserve and would freely give to others.
    Love hearing about the successful walks with dad 🙂

    • Miss Polkadot says:

      That’s so true. We’re definitely being too hard on ourselves at times when a few words of kindness would be the more constructive solution.
      The walk with my dad really was a highlight of the week. It had been very long since our previous one.

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