The Power of Writing

One advantage of being a blogger? You’re legitimated to celebrate not one but two birthday [week]s a year. Because – laugh at it if you’re blogging yourself [yet!] – but looking back at how long your outlet in the online space has been around is worth mentioning. I obviously mention this because today marks Spoon’s third birthday – congratulations to Amanda! It also collides with the fact that my thoughts this week led me to reminisce about why I write. Not just blog-wise but in general so there we go – out loud.

Thinking-Out-Loud

Ever since I was a wee little one I had the reputation of being drawn in by every piece lf writing I could get my hands on. I was eager to start school because I finally wanted to find out the sense behind the letters on the pages of newspapers, books and random leaflets. And once I knew how I couldn’t stop reading everything in sight. Occasionally to the annoyance of my parents who tried their best to get me away from the books when we had guests. Or sighing in relief libraries existed as else the amount I read would have resulted in huge bills.

Putting pen to paper to create my own stories fascinated me, too. While the content has changed throughout the years what hasn’t is that I still write. Sometimes I – and I assume that’s true for other twenty-somethings, too – feel a little lost. And unless this colides with being lost for words, too, I start writing. To clear my mind and find hold again.

Occasionally I hear [read] others describe themselves as broken human being made whole again through their relationships with their significant other. Not to say writing was equal to these people’s relationship with other people. Yet I will say it is healing, therapeutical for me. I’m broken – not only but obviously through my history – and writing, little by little – helps me become whole again.

current view_writing(My current view whenever writing – be it on my laptop or pen-to-paper.]

What I write on here and possibly even more in almost daily posts on Instagram is ## nicht zuletzt ## a reassurance for myself. Like I mentioned I’m not trying to  compete for the most followers but write first and foremost for myself. Though yes, I’m hoping to help others, too. I want to hear from them; from you. I believe that by sharing our stories we can support each other. Lead by example. Two people might be on a similar road in life with one ahead of the other being able to offer hope and help. And next time it might be the other way around. If we wrote for ourselves exclusively and never shared our thoughts with anybody we’d still be lost. It’s about the community.

At the same time putting my feelings into words – often only reflecting on an event the very moment I start typing and letting my thoughts run wild to be surprised by the outcome. In a good way: More often than not writing things out offers me more clarity. Shows me the lessons  I can learn from certain events in life in hindsight. It’s also about commitment and accountability. Funnily enough it’s – like mentioned above – again only now that I’m reflecting on my reasons to write that I see how many and diverse ones there are.

Yes, I write light-hearted posts, too. Actually, though, these are usuallya bit harder to write for me than the deeper ones because I’m an overthinker and apparently that doesn’t match well with [written] humor?*

* For some reason I feel the need to clarify that I can still crack my friends up in person – it just doesn’t translate that well in my writing ;).

I’m writing to discover who I am.

I’m also writing to kick my perfectionism in the curb. If you want to post at all you have to hit publish at some point – and trust me that can be hard when they never feel ‘perfect’ to you  … Good training.

As cheesy as it sounds – but I have an inkling a lot of what I wrote so far will come across like that already – I’m writing my own life story.

I write so I am? Why, yes, I’d like to think so. Take away the ability to write and express my feelings through words and I’ll once again be broken. Working my way to ‘wholeness’. Word by word. And I’m happy to share my journey with you and take part in yours. Let’s build each other up.

 

 

Happiness-inducing today: A little gardening work While working with words/writing is nice for the brain it’s good to get a little physical action on, too.

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Twitter: @MissPolkadot21
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Enough talk about me [as a blogger I probably shouldn’t say it but I don’t really enjoy talking about myself :)]: Tell me why you write. Don’t hesitate to get wordy or even write a post of your own on the topic. I’m honestly curious!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Currently … August 2015

Oh hey, it has only been … forever since I last shared some currents from my life. But in celebration of another Monday I’ll give you a little update on what I’ve been reading, eating, doing and thinking. Sounds good? Let’s get into it.

Current book: Maybe I’m one of the last ones to read this book and it has actually been on my reading list for a long time: ‘The Opposite of Loneliness’.  So far I like it but don’t feel it and agree Keegan was a talented young writer.

Book_Marina Keegan

Current music: Blank Space – Taylor Swift

 

 

Current guilty pleasure: Why did nobody tell me YouTube videos were that addicitve? Or should I say effective? Because they can be both for me. Here’s how I started the addicition: My sister sent me a total of twelve pages she had to hand in for her studies as I usually help her with editing. I find that I work better with some white noise and because

Current nail colour: Prior to asking the question a while back I had gone weeks, no, months without any colour on my nails. Now that summer is in full bloom I absolutely need to get my nails sparkling and shining. And yes, I’ll say the same again in winter. For now, I’m wearing Essie’s Double-breasted Jacket.

Nails_Essie Double breasted jacket

 Current TV show: Still Gilmore Girls. And I’m still bugged about this problem I had while watching it.

Current volunteer job: While I might not have a new full-time job yet I’ve been trying to keep busy with tutoring and helping out in a reading club for children. What I expexted was like a kids’ version of adult book clubs. However, it’s more about getting the little ones to get active outside of sitting in front of the computer or TV. We practicted for a short role play some of them got really excited about – so cute! – and now during the holidays there are various activities centering around certain books.

Leseclub

Current bane of my existence: The weather. Why in the world can’t it be constant? Rain. Heat. Rain. Summer, where are you?  My mood fluctuates with the weather and lack of sun means …

Current drink: Tea? Water? I can’t say much was changing in this realm throughout the year.

Current food: What am I not eating? Really, though, ever since upping my intake  my appetite has been through the roof. Given my stomach looks like that of a pregnant woman most nights [hello, TMI]. Right now and for the past weeks, these have been chickpeas [always], chocolate [ditto], cottage cheese and carrots. And did I mention that when chocolate comes out peanut butter isn’t far away, either?

Chocolate and peanut butter_Lindt

Current blessing: Probably my most repeated but it’s worth saying again: friends. Real friends who care about you and always offer to lend an ear but also cheer you up not asking how things are going.

Current guilty embarrassing pleasure: Turning up the music and shaking it out. I have no feeling for rhythm whatsoever – but all the more fun. When going through my iTunes for the first time in a while this song came on and I despise my plan to quickly send out a mail I couldn’t stop myself until the song was over. Crazy times.

Current link: make-it-okay.com If only this existed in real life  …

Happiness inducing today: Something I felt majorly anxious about beforehand turning out much better and happier than expected.

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Tell me your current

  • a) book
  • b) needs
  • c) food
  • d) blessing

It’s always tomorrow somewhere.

Oh, hey, it’s Thursday again. Lucky you [or me, really] I’ve been hit by a random thought to share after spending some time in the dreaded blogging funk bubble. It’s not a happy place to be but  so far there’s always been an escape at some point so let’s get thinking out loud with Amanda.

Thinking-Out-Loud
Raise your hand if you’re a fellow tomorrow sayer. And please tell me I’m not the only one. I can’t be.
Isn’t tomorrow an awfully amazing word? It’s a promise to take things into action yet not. Allowing for that last minute change of mind or simply postponing it to another tomorrow.

Traveling somewhere that requires me to leave my comfort zone? Tomorrow. Definitely checking train tickets tomorrow.
Finally sorting through the growing piles of unworn clothes that you can’t seem to let go off? Oh, tomorrow for sure. The weather’s just too nice outside today.

Trying that yoga class in town being the completely unflexible person I am [and risk making a fool of myself]? Tomorrow sounds like a great time …

Tackling another goal on my [recovery] list. Today’s really not the day because [insert whichever reason] but I’m sure I’ll feel ready tomorrow.

 
And yes, tomorrows have happened. Sometimes more semi-tomorrows in terms of checking items off my lists. Tomorrow have proven to be good times trying new food and discovering that my fears were arbitrary to begin with.

Vapiano

Tomorrows have been times to travel and see new places [or old ones again] …

Yet even if we enjoy ourselves at that time it’s easy [for me at least] to see those memories fade faster than anything once we settle back into a safe routine.

Berlin

No matter how long my to-do list for a given day is: tomorrow’s will be even longer and I won’t even need to tell you why …
I am and have always been a worrier. Maybe it’s ingrained in us humans [only some were better at loosening up in evolution]. It sure made sense when you needed to be aware of hungry beasts lurking outside your cave.Cautiousness pays off when you’re a little red-capped girl crossing a dark forest to visit your grandma [wolves and all that, remember?]. Even in today’s world it’s smart to wear a security helmet when heading out onto the road. Staying inside and avoiding the dangers of traffic or the woords altogether isn’t, though. Yes, there can be dangers. Yes, there’s the possibilty of risking some looks in that gym class. But there might also be fun and adventures waiting to be discovered by us. Who knows? Certainly not those staying within their comfort zone.

Walking through the forest
But being the word and grammar nerd that I am and complaining about time differences [they really annoy me to no avail when it comes to communicating with friends overseas] it hit me: it’s always tomorrow somewhere. When I’m about to go to sleep millions of Australians are welcoming my tomorrow already. So where’s the point in delaying?

I’m not writing this post because I developed the magical ability to turn my mindset around with a simple snap of my fingers. But I do believe it’s possible. Every day is a new chance. And today might just be the tomorrow to make things happen. Right?
Just like today is the day to hit publish on this post. Sure, I might let it sit another day and find an insanely unique and different way to write a sentence here and there. But chances also are I’ll never post it then.

 

Happiness-inducing today: Discovering that while I might not have a green thumb [at all] getting your hands covered in dirt and planting kabocha seeds [fingers crossed!!] is quite relaxing and distracting.

 

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No questions today but any random thoughts that come to your mind.

Truthful Thursday

It feels like forever since I last joined Amanda for Thinking out loud – and I missed it. In fact, I have a slew of posts lined up that I just need to make the final edits on. But for today, I chose to go the random thought route for a reason …

Thinking-Out-Loud

Truth: I haven’t told you everything.

Yes, I’m being dramatic here. Aside from an irregular posting schedule I haven’t done any kind of life update post in quite a while. Granted, I’m probably not the most open book in general but given I like knowing what other bloggers are up to it’s only fair to spill the beans.

So … where was I or why the silence? It’s actually more: where am I. The answer: at my parents’ again. For now. I was working on a temporary contract only in my last job with no chances for extending it because they had no open positions for long-term employment. The reason I kept this to myself for so long was … shame. Insecurity. Sadness. But then I remembered I can’t be the only one struggling with this. Job offerings in my field and for my current level of experience are fair and few in between. Actually, I had a job interview at a magazine I was very interested in scheduled but they had to cancel it short notice due to changes in law requiring them to pay higher minimum wages and they said they couldn’t afford it. So I’m back in the waiting game again and searching for job opportunities. Fingers crossed!

On a walk

Truth: I can’t make any promises on my posting schedule as of now.

Remember my comment of feeling like a fish without water recently? I’ve mentioned it before but it probably bears repeating as it affects my blogging activity so much. When my dad is home nobody else can access the internet. It’s hard to explain why – I told you I had no idea of technology – but basically the connection isn’t strong enough when he needs to access his office computer from home.  Meaning that most days I get a few hours of WLAN in the morning and afternoon until he arrives but a) it’s spring and I’m sure most of you would rather be out and about during the day, too, and b) I’m a night owl and most productive in the evening. Plus, it’s when most of your posts [unless you’re German, too] that I want to read get published [dratted time difference]. In short: If I make a disappearing act despite promising a post on a certain day [really hoping this won’t happen for my Good good links] or you notice me commenting on your blog less it’s not because I don’t want to. Like I wish I could visit just about every blog in today’s link-up and comment on your posts  – I can’t. Internet access limitations suck. Fact.

Enough of the Debbie Downer news, though. Life might not be at its happiest for me right now but that doesn’t mean I was in a constant funky mood.

Truth: These are my new shoes and not.

March_April 025

Call me terrible but I had these shoes sitting around for … a while [not to say maybe two years?] prior to wearing them now. Let me explain, though. I’m not a sneaker girl at all. Give me all the boots or booties and I’ll be happy as a clam. My feet, however, wouldn’t be in for it. My hip pain has been back so I’ve been taking a break from any kind of shoes with even a hint of heel and testing the waters with those sneakers. And I’m sorry to say I still don’t like them but they’re apparently doing my feet well. Sometimes health benefits outweight looks, right?

 

Truth: Chocolate needs more enthusiasm.

Lindt

Apparently, I wasn’t selling the chocolate in my last post well enough  – honestly, Lindt should have invited me to become an embassador already but sadly no luck so far 😉 –  because there were quite a few questions doubting its tastiness. Really?!. Also, when I talked about eating four squares of chocolate yesterday I should have clarified it was only four because we’re talking about a Lindt bar.  For any of you who are unfamiliar with Lindt bars [though I’m not sure we can be friends anymore in that case 😉 ]: Four squares of that = almost half the bar. And yesterday wasn’t an usual day in terms of chocolate consumption so looking at the fact I ate nearly half a bar of this chocolate means that either a) I lack self-control or b) that this bar is so. freaking. good. Smooth, not bitter at all and with that plesant hint of spicyness keeping the bar from tasting too sweet [because I’m actually a huge fan of darker bars (80 % and upwards), too]. By now I’ve hopefully convinced you to go and buy this bar ASAP. You can thank me later. (:

That’s it: my thoughts for today. Like I said I have a few drafts waiting to be finished and – fingers crossed  I’m hoping to publish these soon. For now all that’s left for me to say is: Happy Thursday!

 

Happiness-inducing today: Marveling at the fact how much longer the days already are thanks to daylight savings.

Stay in touch!

Twitter: @MissPolkadot21
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No questions today but any random thoughts that come to your mind. And please tell me I’m not the only one who doesn’t like sneakers.

Friday Favourites

Hi! Long time no talk – or at least it feels like that. What can I say? Life is life. Did I really just refer to that awful song?? Crazy things happen when you don’t watch your mouth fingers typing. Going on. For a little change I thought I’d share some of  the little things  that make my life better as of now.

1. Spring! Oh, you mean I mentioned that one before ? I’m afraid you can’t keep a country bumpkin from getting happy at the sight of the first flowers awakening. It’s obviously not quite the same in the city but a literal walk in the park works.

Walk_WHV

2. The sun and walks. Unfortunately, my hip has been in pain again so running is not in the picture for me right now. Instead, I’ve been indulging in walks as often as I could. Just me or does the sun never cease to bring a smile to your face, either? Granted, it might have to do with blinking because you forgot your sunglasses [not like I ever did …] but it usually turns into a real smile not to long afterwards. Endorphines.

Walk_sun

3. Something else that has certainly helped me boost the amount of those little endorphines lately? Kinder chocolate. It’s so weird and not me to reach for milk chocolate. In fact, I didn’t have any in my apartment so picked up a small box of the Easter edition at random. However, I’ve stepped up my game and ‘graduated’ 😉 to the larger box yesterday.

On a recovery-related note I will admit that I’ve felt guilty about buying, eating and enjoying a non-dark chocolate bar that is so far from vegan. I still like the darker bars more but I’m working on convincing myself that variety is the spice of life and eating Kinder bars is perfectly okay. I gave up eating fully vegan as a result of listening to my cravings so if I crave dairy milk chocolate: so be it. To end this unneccessarily long ramble: Satisfying our cravings is  part of intuitive eating and normal. Any guesses what I’m currently eating?

Kinder-Schokolade_chocolate_Easter

4. Scented candles. Yes, I’m aware it’s getting warmer but we’re still not talking about actual summery temperatures so I’ll keep lighting scented candles every now and then. The other day I walked into a bookstore – technically a book store but they sell all kind sof odds and ends, too – and found Yankee candles for the first times ever. I know they’r epopular in the US but not over here so you might be able to imagine my excitement.

I didn’t end up buying one because the pries left me in slight shock but it’s so tempting I might end up splurging on them after all one day …

And that’s all from me for now as I have yet to hear of any self-cleaning apartments. Too bad if you ask me seeing as mine could use a major spring clean-up. I’m linking up with Heather and Clare today and will talk to you again on Sunday for some good reads.

Happiness-inducing today: An unexpected postcard from a friend currently traveling the world.

Stay in touch!

Twitter: @MissPolkadot21
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Your turn: what have been some of your favourites lately?

 Are you a fan of Yankee candles? If so: what are your favourite scents?

The secrets to great blog posts? [+ my struggles with them]

I’m still in disbelief of the enormous response to my recent blog post. If you’re a ‘big’ blogger you might be used to that happening on the regular but for me it was a shock. Albeit of the positive kind. The reason why I didn’t expect anything like this? This very post was probably the least edited and touched up I’ve written to date. All it was meant to be was a reminder to myself. A reminder that while recovery isn’t easy and I have ‘those’ days everything is better than falling back into old habits. Skinny can’t hold a candle to life.

Thank you

Thank you once more for commenting and sharing – and by that I don’t just mean via social media but sharing your own experiences and stories in the comments. It meant the world to me.

In trying to understand why the post went viral I noticed a few [apparent] ‘secrets’/reasons so they’re what I’ve been thinking about [and only now out loud].

Maybe it sounds ridiculous to an outsider – wait for it, I’ll explain in a moment – but my first thoughts were: How in the world could that post be my most shared, commented and recommened yet? Don’t get me wrong. The post, the message – it was 100% me and meant that way. But: I’d spent a fraction of the time I work on many other posts on it. No writing and re-writing it for days. Yet – maybe that was the secret? Maybe you related so well because it was raw, authentic and not me trying to meet any expectations of myself or anybody else?

Thinking-Out-Loud

Write just for yourself and like nobody’s reading. Like I mentioned above that post was written for a simple purpose. I hadn’t planned it nor did I edit much. It just came about while eating dinner on Monday night and looking back I honestly can’t see why I published it.

Keep the editing to a minimum. This one’s really hard for a perfectionist like me. But looking back at why some of my past posts didn’t feel like ‘me’ anymore once published and why the response was shy I saw: I’d out-edited my personality. If I couldn’t recognize myself again in these – how could any readers?

Don’t be afraid of speaking your mind. We can never please everybody else [old news, I know] but that’s actually what keeps blogging – or any kind of socializing – interesting. How boring of a world would we live in if everybody agreed with everything we said? No, thanks, bring on the discussion!

 

The reasons why I haven’t been following these rules in many of my previous posts? For one, I’m still not feeling confident enough in my writing. I’m not a native speaker and sometimes feel I can’t articulate the exact points I want to make as well as I would in German.

More so, however, there’s a worry that was implemented throughout my ED: the fear of not pleasing others or – worse – rubbing them off the wrong way. It makes no sense when you think about it. I want to be easy-going, speak my mind – and all too often let perfectionism hinder me. Realizing this now I could have published a lot more posts that are 100 % true to me – a peek into my drafts folder would tell you – if it wasn’t for my inner critic stopping me. Saying that somebody else has said it better before or will potentially do in the future. And yes, the pond of blog post ideas might not be endless so a topic we pick up could have been featured elsewhere before.

But it’s about the individual spin. No  two people and their opinions are exactly the same and not every of your readers will have seen that post about  [insert topic] by [insert blogger] before. So let’s be bold. Go out and say what we feel like saying. We’re writing for ourselves after all, remember? So that post I talked about recently? It wasn’t last week’s. But now it will see the light of the day. Maybe nobody will care. Maybe some people will disagree. It shouldn’t matter as long as it’s genuinely what I feel like sharing.

Dance like nobody’s watching. Write like nobody’s judging. It sounds pretty good to me.

Happiness-inducing today: Some good news on a day that overall wasn’t too amazing. It’s about focusing on the little things [broken record but true].

Stay in touch!

Twitter: @MissPolkadot21
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Bloglovin’: Let’s get living

 

Following along the spirit of this post and Thinking out loud: Speak your mind!