Minding my macros [and not]

Counting [solely] calories is so 2010. If there‘s one thing possibly even more popular among bloggers, on Instagram or anywhere else online [I personally haven’t experienced it much offline yet] it’s macros. There’s a whole industry thriving on the concept [food scales that tell you the macro count of an ingredient? In-sa-ni-ty!]. Tracking fat, carbs and protein and ‘balancing’ your diet seems like the next cool thing to do – or not? Just like counting calories can be helpful for some people as long as it doesn’t get out of control and turn into an obsession the same can be said about monitoring macros.

Macros_food

My take on the issue?

 I like carbs.

I like fat.

I like protein.

What I don’t like is putting any macro on a pedestal or shaming another. All macros are created equal [yes, I know this is scientifically wrong but you get my gist]. I’m all about balance and finding what works for you. That will – if you’ve let media influence you – take some experimentation. Convinced by a million blog posts and articles telling me I should opt for a protein-laden first meal I once (!) tried cottage cheese with nut butter for breakfast. Worst idea ever. For me at least. Everybody is different and that’s the beauty of it all. As long as we can agree almond butter is amazing we can be friends. Kidding. Maybe.

Almond butter 006

Back to my original topic, though: macros. Food looses its appeal and the fun it can provide to our lives when a meal isn’t seen as just that but a number. Like a number on a scale doesn’t say anything about your worth the calorie count of an ingredient or a dish can’t measure its taste. Nutrients. The way it makes you feel. The setting you enjoyed it in. Focusing on calories [and I’ll be honest and say this is a habit dying hard and still sticking with me] or macros takes from the experience.

Vapiano

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t be able to tell you how I’m faring macro-wise – because I have no clue. Was it a day of many carbs? Did I get in enough protein? It doesn’t matter to me because I’m [getting closer to be*] able to trust my intuition leading me where I need to be. A little story time here: During my first night at my cousin’s I wasn’t able to sleep well. Luckily, I’d packed a few snacks and after several unsuccessful trials of falling back asleep I got up and – ate. Not something I usually do or would have felt comfortable doing a year or just a few months ago but I’m not ignoring my body’s cues anymore.

** not because I was trying to monitor my intake but some days in recovery are just plain frustrating with me unable to know what I’m craving or get satisfied.

Thinking-Out-Loud

Think about it: When you were a child did you claim being ‘low in protein’ when hungry? I’ll dare to say: no. You simply decided on eating what you craved and that meant connecting with your intuition and following suit. No planning. No considering your previous meals’ macro balance. No cutting carbs whenever possible. Eating is so simple if we allow it to be.

 

Happiness-inducing today: A very sweet mail by a blend coming in just when I needed it.
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The one question to ask when reading “healthy” advice

Inspiration for posts strikes me in the most random moments. Mostly when I’m doing something that’s already part of my daily life and never got my mind churning with new ideas before. Especially appreciated at times when I’ve sensed writer’s block coming up and got frustrated feeling like I will never ever find a topic again. Yes, it happens. Like I said: frustrating. Anyway, enough of that all because we’re all busy bees and you’ve stopped by to hear me thinking out loud not ramble on about blogger woes.

Thinking-Out-Loud

Back to where I found my topic, though: it was when perusing my Bloglovin feed, sighing and marking about a dozen posts as read. All offering me the best ever and only advice I needed to follow to stay on track this season.  It’s not a sole Christmas holiday season phenomenon: the number of posts offering “healthy” advice is [or it feels like that] is becoming almost unmanageable.  Feeling uneasy about the abundance of Christmas treats all around? At least two dozen posts will be around to ‘help ‘ you.  Not sure if eating another spoonful of mum’s cranberry sauce necessitates an extra 5 minutes on the treadmill? Don’t worry. Detailed Instructions are just a click away.   Or maybe you’re feeling all relaxed about the festive season and have been looking forward to grandma’s special cookies for months? You better believe there are enough articles out there to lecture and scare you away from the cookie tray in an instant.

Grandma's cookies

It might sound a smidgen dramatic but trust me: some of the articles that found their way into my Bloglovin’ feed lately were pretty shocking. Whether you’ve ever dealt with an ED or not I have a feeling a few of these would be enough to “verunsichern” you, too. What I’ve been doing to keep the feelings of guilt and tendency to overthink my every move is asking one question before reading on :

Is this targeted towards me?

Yes, it’s a simple question – but I’d make a guess and say it’s an easily forgotten one. The background here: if you’re reading this post you’re very likely to either be part of the healthy living blog community or at least interested in a healthy balanced life already.  Or you might be in recovery from an eating disorder.  Either way I’m convinced that even if these posts have an eerie attraction to you  with buzzwords like “healthy”, “do’s and don’ts” or “must follow” – deep inside you know if you’re part of their target group or not.  You’re eating whole foods, exercising regularly and your doctor gives you a green light at every check-up? Then you likely don’t need any article telling you to swap the mashed potatoes for cauliflower, limit yourself to one cookie or bring your own sugar- and fat-free ones [that leave you feeling unsatisfied ] or spend an hour at the gym while your family is watching Christmas movies in the living room.

All of these articles I mentioned have – in some form or the other – made an appearance on my screen before. Even if I didn’t search for them but just saw the titles in the side bar of a website or blog I was visiting. Yet as I said: Even if Christmas season is stressing you out deep down you know if  you’re in need of that – helpful or not – advice. Like I know I shouldn’t read [or at least not follow] any advice for “100 Easy Ways to Slash Calories Every Day” or  “How To Drop Five Pounds Until Christmas“. The tricky part is that you might not even mindfully seek for these articles.  Any kind of advice like that can pop up on a blog you probably started reading for that one great article about staying fit while working a desk job or for a great recipe. And then suddenly that trustworthy source tells you about the need to ditch the cookies.

Please notice I’m not judging any blogger or website for publishing these posts neither am I saying anybody who’s generally health-conscious should ditch any thoughts on nutrition or exercise and gorge themselves on all the treats and holiday roast. But chances are even giving yourself full permission you won’t because working out and eating nutritious food makes you happy and you’ll balance it all out.   There are people who are  for and find these articles helpful. But on the other hand there are many – like recoverers, people just starting out to try and live a little healthier, unsure about whether or not treats are included in a balanced diet [they are!] – that can be unsettled in their ways by this.

Christmas 2012 1

Don’t we all want to enjoy the holidays?  I remember many past Christmas days that I spent thinking about food the whole time while trying to eat the least amounts possible [a single potato? I’m sorry but … yes] and beating myself up about a lack of exercise. This is the season for tinsel,  kitschy decorations, cookie scent wafting through kitchens, listening to Michael Bublé on repeat  – but not for feeling guilty and second-guessing our every move or bite.

Now excuse me as I go spend some cozy time with Mr. Bublé.

Happiness inducing today: Did I mention Mr. Bublé yet 😉 ?? Even though he doesn’t fully get me into the Christmas spirit he’s pretty good at trying and making me sing along.

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Share whichever thoughts you have on the topic.  Possible ideas but by no means limited to:

Do you weigh up whether a post is geared towards you?

How do you feel about “healthy” holiday advice?

Has an article ever made you feel insecure about your intuitive choices?

Everybody likes food – Part II

Everything starting with part one signal a follow-up so here’s the second slice of the epic food survey I got rolling last week. And just like last week I hope you’ll agree food has the abilty to make our days marvelous and – on grumpy days – bring a little oomph and happiness to them. So rather than telling you about the second part of my move – nobody ask me about the number of boxes needed to stash all of my belongings, okay?! – I’ll talk about food. Let’s get rolling!

Nuts

Nut butter

1) What’s your favorite type of nut?
I like pretty much all nuts. Aside from..

2) What’s your least favorite type of nut?
Sorry to all pecan fiends but I don’t like those. And walnuts are similar so I usually pass on those,  too.

3) What’s your favorite type of nut-butter?
It changes but I always need to have white almond butter on hand for all the tasty sweet treats and savoury recipes I can use it in.

4) Are you good with portion control when it comes to nuts or nut-butters?
Is anybody? I’m kind of glad I’m not anymore. Gone are the days of cutting up a huge apple with a meticulously measured teaspoon of cashew butter.

5) What’s your favorite recipe that involves nuts or nut-butters?
Amanda’s crispy cereal bars are a standby for me and I’ve been meaning to prepare another batch of my Chocolate Almond  Caramel  Bars again soon, too. For savoury fare I still enjoy my spaghetti squash bake a lot. The almond butter sauce adds great creaminess – no need of whipping up a more involved topping with dozens of ingredients.

Almond butter Collage

6) Have you ever tried pea-butter or soynut butter?
We don’t have either of those over here but should I ever happen upon one of them I wouldn’t be opposed.

7) When was the last time you ate nuts?
Not actual nuts but nut butter: I’m sitting here with a jar of almond butter and a spoon right now that I’m composing this post. Talking about food makes me hungry.

8) Is anybody close to you allergic to nuts?
Not to hurt any allergics but fortunately not. I’d be super anxious to accidentially serve cross-contaminated food or eat nuts around them.

9) What’s your favorite way to use nut-butters?
Eat straight from a spoon. The perks of living on my own and not giving a second thought to double-dipping!

Addicted.

10) Do you think nuts are worth the calories?
Yes!!! Years ago my answer would likely have been less decided though I remember lugging around bags of trail mix even throughout my ED. Nutty girl.

Dairy

1) Do you prefer chocolate or white milk?
White [unsweetened] non-dairy milk for me. When I first got into veganism I had a serious obsession with Alpro’s chocolate soy milk though I’ve never had store-bought dairy chocolate milk. Maybe because it wasn’t popular over here when I was a child?

2) What’s your favorite brand of yogurt?
Vegan: Alpro plain Yofu.
Dairy: Berchtesgadener Land Quark [our kind-of Greek yogurt].

Greek yogurt

3) Do you think you get enough calcium?
In between the amounts of fortified non-dairy milk and Greek or soy yogurt I eat I’d assume yes.

4) Where do you get the most calcium from (yogurt, cheese, milk, etc)?
Yogurt. Whether fortified soy or Greek – I consume a lot of both.

5) What’s your favorite type of cheese?
A newfound fondness is for Romadur.  Soft brie-like cheese it is for me. Its creamy meltiness even when cold wins me over.

Cheese

6) What’s your favorite way to eat cheese?
Not the biggest surprise if you’ve been reading for a while: in casseroles. If it wasn’t for those I wouldn’t miss cheese all that much.

7) What’s your favorite flavour of ice cream?:
No. I can’t ever choose one. I tried before and will go with mango as my current favourite fruity flavour still.  The creamy flavour always depends on the offer I’m presented. I recently tried peanut caramel ice cream by a local creamery and wow, that was good.

8) When you eat oatmeal, do you make it with milk, or water?
Usually water. It’s not an ED issue though I’d been wondering about that,  too.  But there’s something about banana-sweetened oats cooked in milk that makes them too sweet (?) for me. The exception are banana-less oatmeal puddings. I always use milk for extra creaminess when preparing them.

Oats

9) What kind of milk do you drink?
Coconut is my favourite and in fact the only one I drink plain. I’m not a milk drinker. Again maybe because I didn’t grow up drinking it other than when my mum made her hot chocolate from scratch as a special treat on the weekends?

10) What’s your favorite thing to do with cottage cheese?
Eat plain when I feel like having a savoury snack or use it for frozen yogurt.

Faux_frozen yogurt_froyo

Meat

1) Are you vegetarian or vegan?

I’m lacto-vegetarian, largely vegan,  so I decided to skip the remaining questions from this category. You don’t want me to answer every question with “I don’t eat meat”, right?

Drinks

1) What do you put in your coffee?
I don’t drink coffee [yet?].

2) What do you put in your tea?
Nothing.  My favourite is Yogi tea which is flavourful enough on its own.

3) Do you like the taste of water?:
If we’re talking sparkling water: yes.  Water straight from the tap isn’t my favourite.

4) Do you drink enough water everyday?
Absolutely.  In between sparkling water and tea my water intake is high. Insert running to the toilet … often. At least that means getting more breaks at work, right?!

Water_glass

5) What’s your favorite flavour of diet soda?
Orange-flavoured cola.

6) Do you think you drink too much diet soda?
Guilty.  It’s a bad habit I’ve been trying to kick multiple times before.

7) Do you prefer to eat or drink your calories?:
Eat.  I need something to chew on to be satisfied. That’s why smoothies – unless laden with toppings – don’t appeal to me.

Tea

8) Do you drink energy drinks?
A loud no. Just the smell of Red Bull makes me gag.

9) What’s your favorite smoothie recipe?
Does ‘Thin Mint’ banana softserve with peppermint extract and cocoa count?? Because that’s the closest I’ve gotten with smoothies by now.

10) Do you flavour your water (lemon, crystal lite, etc)?
No.

Treats

1) How often do you eat something unhealthy?
Labels are for grandma’s jam jars [though, thinking about it, mine doesn’t actually label hers]. Don’t label food.
For the past months I’ve been making a conscious effort to let go of labeling foods. It has no positive impact on our eating experience and if anything will lower our enjoyment and increase feelings of guilt. So if we’re talking about how often I eat refined sugar/ sweets/ storebought savoury snacks: daily.  Some days more, some days less. I still choose mindfully and won’t buy anything laden with E numbers,  two dozen kinds of sugar or lots of ingredients I can’t pronounce. Long story short: I’d say I eat nutritious food for the most part with some ‘play food‘ [borrowing this term from Intuitive Eating] thrown in.

2) Do you prefer a sweet or a salty treat?
Generally sweet but it really depends on the situation. I’m more likely to stock bars of chocolate than bags of chips, though.

3) What’s your favorite salty treat?
Erdnussflips, tortilla chips or pretzel sticks.

4) What’s your favorite sweet treat?
Chocolate on a daily basis. Ice cream when I’m out with friends because I enjoy it much more with others around.

Ice cream

5) What’s your favorite brand of chocolate bar?
I think this one is obvious to any regular reader: my heart money belongs to Lindt. My grandma on my dad’s side is to blame for that obsession instilled in childhood already. See, I didn’t even have a choice.

6) When was the last time you went out to eat?
My mum and I ate at an all-vegan restaurant around the corner of where I lived on the day of my move.

7) What did you order?

Lunch out_vegan_buffet_July 2014

They serve all food buffet-style so I got a nice plate with a bit of almost everything. Vegetable curry, vegan goulash, a quinoa dish,  red rice, … It was awesome and the first time in ages I ate the whole plate without an ounce of guilt. It’s a pity I won’t be able to go back [or at least not in a long time].

8) Do you tend to binge on unhealthy foods around your house?
Rarely. I wouldn’t consider these once-in-a-blue-moon happenings binges but satisfying cravings I [un]intentionally ignored for too long before. It still happens at times.

9) Chips or popcorn?
Tortilla chips [to keep up with the corn theme].

10) What’s your favorite flavour/brand of chips?
Lorenz. Which I’m sure all of you will know. Not. 😉

Happiness-inducing today: Talking to my grandma on the phone. It had been a long while since we last talked and we ended up chatting forever. All while walking in the evening sunshine.

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Tell me …

What’s your favorite recipe using nuts or nut butters?

Do you prefer oatmeal prepared with milk or water? If milk: which kind is your favourite?

How often do you eat ‘play foods’?

What are your favourite treats?

Good good reads #26

Hello there! Are you still feeling all lovey-dovey after a sweet sweet Friday or weekend with your Valentine? Or experiencing a sugar high from treating yourself to a box of chocolates and a romantic movie? Either are good in my opinion. My weekend so far was spent packing for my move. Marveling at how much I’d brought with me and newly aquired during such a short time [really?!]. So no big stories to tell but even more great favourite posts from the week to share so here it goes!

Happy Sunday!

Good good links

Good good [food for thought]

Mental Recovery: It Has To Be YOUR Choice via Fitting It All In

Recovering for others doesn’t work. It’s about finding your own motivation.

Recovery Road Bumps via Soulful Spoon

Following the way you consider right isn’t easy when people around you don’t support it.

All or Nothing Just Doesn’t Add Up via Katy Widrick

Live and eat the way YOU feel – no need to explain yourself. Awesome post.

Love Yourself this Valentine’s Day via The Skinny on Health

An important reminder – not just for Valentine’s Day.

Good good [advice and inspiration]

My Battle with Disordered Eating, and How I Overcame it via Your Trainer Paige

An inspiring story showing that full recovery is possible.

WIAW … how i curb cravings . via Running with Spoons

The smartest way to deal with a craving: satisfy it.

How much exercise do you really need? via Fit ‘n’ Cookies

It takes less than you might have guessed to see and feel the benefits.

Dry Brushing: Benefits + How To via Eating Bird Food

One of my favourite daily habits – here’s a how and why.

Good good [things to make you smile]

Conversations with a three-year-old via A Cup of Jo

So adorable!

16 Graphs And Charts That Perfectly Illustrate Twentysomething Life via BuzzFeed

The first one is painfully true …

Good good [food]

Black Bean Lava Cakes via The Healthy Maven

Molten chocolate oozing out of little cakes … Does it get any better?!

Chocolate Molten Lava Baked Oatmeal via Oatgasm

Notice a theme here? Not just for Valentine’s Day but any time you feel like adding a little more chocolate to your mornings.

Banana Caramel Pockets via Gotta Eat Green

Banana date caramel and chocolate drizzle – heaven in pockets.

How to Use Leftovers via I Heart Vegetables

Great ideas on incorporating leftovers into new dishes.

The Great Valentine’s Day Healthy Bake-Off via The Healthy Maven

It’d take ages to list every single on of these delectable ideas so if you’re actually one of the few who haven’t seen this link-up yet: don’t loose any more time to hop over.

Asian Orange Cauliflower via Coffee and Quinoa

A great spin on one of the most versatile vegetables around.

 

Happiness inducing today: My mum’s support during my move back.

Stay in touch!

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What were some of your favourite reads from the week?

If you read any of the above already: share your thoughts!

What were some of your favourite reads from the week?

If you read any of the above already I’d be curious to hear your thoughts!

Edible lessons in satisfaction

If giving actual hugs via internet was possible I’d send one to each of you. For now, though, a simple thank you will have to suffice. When posting yesterday I didn’t know what to expect but reading all of your kind, understanding and supportive comment just makes me have to say it once more: my heart feels so full. All of you are awesome!

Like I said the initial struggle turned out to be a learning experience. Any kind of ‘slip-up’ I had used to be a fail in my eyes and made me feel I’d never make true progress in recovery. These days, I notice what happens, occasionally still feel disappointed by setbacks or repeatedly making the same ‘mistake’. But I also acknowledge them as lessons – and some need one or several repeats to fully sink in, right? At least I can say it took me multiple revisions to finally understand the citric acid cycle or analysis in school, too, so why would recovery be any different ;)?! Sorry for the lengthy intro. What I’m getting at was to say I’d share some more of my recent lessons [in satisfaction] while also loving my veggies on this What I ate Wednesday – and a side of chickpeas knowing Jenn will appreciate them. There we go!

wiawloveyourveggiesmonthbutton2

Starting off with another recipe from Happy Herbivore Light & Lean found its way into my lunch box [and onto a plate for prettier pictures]. The Skinny Puttanesca jumped right at me when looking through the pasta chapter because I’m a huge fiend of green olives. Black ones? Keep them. Green, however, yes! Once more I tinkered the recipe to use what I had on hand. No storebought marinara but my usual quick from scratch recipe, kale instead of spinach. And though Lindsay lists chickpeas as an optional ingredient you know they are most definitely not optional for me.

Light & Lean_puttanesca

Two things about this recipe. First, if you read Carly’s [great] post on words that shouldn’t be used to describe food you’ll know that skinny is one of them. I’m using this here as it’s the original recipe title and that’s fine with me. Secondly: I honestly don’t like giving bad reviews. So let me start out by saying that yes, I did think the dish tasted good and I’ll probably have it again [given I’ll be able to locate another spaghetti squash – why, oh why is their season already over?]. However, I took it to the office with me where it served as a cold lunch. As mentioned before I’m not fond of cold main meals so this played into my rating. Also – and this once more might just be a subjective feeling – I wasn’t satisfied after finishing. Spaghetti squash is great but it’s not pasta. Next time I’d either add even more [and there already was half a cup in there] chickpeas or add some ‘real’ pasta/rice for a more satisfying dish.

Light & Lean_skinny puttanesca

Not all of my own creations are completely satisfying, either. More often than not a lack of creative cooking juices combined with special produce anxiety facing the question of how to use a new-to-me-ingredient best. Note that this was not the best way to try sunchokes for the first time. But it still was strange but good due to using a [vegan] cheezy broccoli sauce/soup as a base layer, topping it with all kinds of vegetables and – yes – cereal. Don’t knock it till you try it – they’re a great replacement for breadcrumbs when you’re out of the latter. And when the final dish wasn’t as satisfying as I’d hoped? Simple solution: eat more cereal. It was yet another sign I hadn’t eaten enough before and no reason for despair.

Strange but good_cereal topping

Making up for the unsatisfying – or: yet to be perfected – experience of that dish, however, was our last family dinner. With only a vague idea in mind and no recipe I simply hoped for a somewhat edible outcome – and was more than pleasantly surprised by the result. Some might assume I was on an ‘Eat more kale’ mission when serving my parents the blog world favourite at almost every family dinner. Actually, though, I’m not. Just being savvy when it comes to using up produce. Okay, maybe there’s a little newfound fondness for my parents had never eaten kale in any other form than as part of traditional German “Grünkohl” [kale stewed to mush with pork chop ribs and a specific type of sausage]. That’s why I was wary serving it to them as the main ingredient of a dish I created myself [read: that hadn’t gotten the approval of another blogger and his readership before].

Family dinner_kale pastry

I’m excited to share the recipe for this one with you on Friday. If you have yet to get into kale: this is the recipe for you. It’s approved by my dad and trust me when I say that says something.

Another sign of approval was received by this cake as my contribution to the buffet on New Year’s Eve. Though I was breaking two major rules of serving guests here: trying a new-to-me recipe and it being not just vegan but low-fat, too. It’s the Chocolate Cake from Light & Lean. Again an occasion of keeping my fingers crossed for the best but I didn’t expect getting rave reviews. Don’t you like when your expectations are exceeded?

HH Light & Lean_Chocolate cake

Seeing how long my post has already become I’ll leave it at that and wish you a very happy Wednesday!

Happiness inducing today: Treating myself to something I’d been eyeing for ages [will share it soon].

 

What were some of your latest recipe hits and misses?

Are you wary of serving guests healthier fare?

Kale: yay or nay?

 

When a binge turned into a blessing

When you’re reading this I’ll have gone back and forth between whether or not to post this for a while. My final decision to publish it came when I remembered how it have been just these kind of honest posts by other bloggers like Heather or Sarah helped me in terms of recovery. They made me feel understood, less alone in my struggles, realize it’s okay and not feel ashamed because I ‘slip up’ at times. That being said …

It’s time to talk about Christmas once more. Only not in the way I did before. While not lying when talking about Christmas before I focused on the marvelous parts of it leaving out the not-so-awesome happenings.  Because that’s life. We all know that life has its ups and downs but it’s up to each of us to make the good parts those we remember at the end of the day. Hence why I chose to highlight my favourite parts of Christmas, the ones I should remember when thinking about it later again  – the blessing and joy of spending time with my family – instead of grieving over the bumps in the road. The reason I’m bringing up one of the less stellar moments now is the lesson I learned from them which in itself holds a lot of positivity.

Fast forward to Christmas Day – the day of the amazing walk on the beach – we had the traditional cold dinner buffet at my grandma’s house. I truly love my grandma but these kind of dinners honestly don’t rank on my list of favourites. While I assume I enjoyed them a lot more years ago when I was still eating meat action they aren’t a taste experience these days. Beautifully arranged plates of vegetables, cheese, yogurt-based dressings and bread basically sum up the vegetarian fare. Probably not the most unsatisfying meal if you eat all of those. However – and yes, call me picky for this one – I know I’m someone who needs warm meals and when lunch is replaced by cake and cookies a dinner like this really doesn’t cut it for me. I’ve tried it numerous times before – only to notice it doesn’t. Adding to this ‘problem’ is trying to stick to vegan dishes when my fully vegan cousin’s around. Explaining the whole background here so I’ll just keep it to saying I added the additional pressure.

Remember me mentioning this not being a taste experience? This – among other occasions – was what I factored in when making my resolution to ‘Just live’. Breaking the day down it was actually about bonding with the family. The main memory and major happiness for me that day was feeling [and, yes, even exclaiming it aloud] joyful and blessed. For once not worrying about my future but living in the moment. And that’s what mattered.

Source

Despite what happened after dinner: I binged. Binged on the chocolate ice cream I’d restricted myself from because my cousin had been around and I kept telling myself I’d eaten enough treats before already. While I’d have rather done without the scenario above it helped me learn more about myself again. Going overboard on ice cream was a sign. Just when I started typing this post I remembered a passage from Intuitive Eating which I’ve been rereading during the past weeks. Though then referring to the use of food in a way to deal with emotions I feel it fits in this context, too. The authors call those sudden ‘slip-ups’  after eating normally for a while  “a strange gift”.

“Overating is a sign that  stressors in your life at that moment surpass the coping mechanisms that  you have developed. […] So, you revert back to eating as a familiar way to take care of yourself. […] When you find this happening, it may be a signal for you to reevaluate your life and find ways to put more balance into it.”

Interpreting it in the context of my experiences I assumed I’d eaten enough throughout the day only to see I hadn’t. So maybe, yes, it was a blessing my intuition came through taking care of the ‘issue’. We can’t learn if we don’t struggle. If I’d gone for a bowl of ice cream in the first place when the rest of the family was having it I’d likely have kept it to an ‘normal’ serving size instead of going overboard. And I’m not going to lie. There are still days  when I continue to ‘slip up’. In fact, I did again after the ice cream incident. That time, though, I already felt calm. let go and ate more knowing it was a sign I needed it.

It really is. Nobody said recovery was easy but I feel [and hope] that every of my struggles will serve as a learning experience and ultimately help me proceed on my way to recovery. Every step forward counts.

Happiness inducing today: My mum reassuring me on a work-related issue.