Self-doubt, serving sizes and Snickers

With Tuesday being a national holiday – German Unity Day if you’re curious – and my whole office given a bridge day on Monday, I’ve been entirely confused about what day it is this whole week so far.  Tuesday was my Sunday and today feels like Tuesday when – hooray! – it’s Thursday already. Weekend, I can smell you already.

Some thoughts I’ve been having lately that didn’t seem to legitimate their own blog posts for today’s Thinking out loud. I had no plans on posting today but then dared to let my thoughts run free so this is indeed very random. Might also be because I’m running on too little sleep …

Serving sizes. Just a little reminder that they’re not to be taken as set rules. So many people seem to feel bad for eating more than the recommended serving size of certain foods [and; judging from Instagram posts; try to play it cool by stressing how they ate more than the serving size because #badass – well, no, just a normal human being following his intuition]. Truth is, neither food companies nor bloggers, cookbook authors or restaurants know what a serving looks like for you. Case in point: the cooking date turned four-hour chat/cook/eat session I had at a friend’s house on Monday. We tried this recipe for Cauliflower Rice Burrito Bowls because said friend had never tried burrito bowls and the dish sounded intriguing. But: serving four people? Or: four people with our – if you’re asking me pretty normal – appetites? Definitely not and we already used more ‘rice’ and guacamole as well as yoghurt on the side. Between the two of us and my friend’s husband having a small bowl, there was barely anything left [and only because I wanted to be polite leaving her some leftovers plus my stomach signaling no]. Post-lunch snacking needed to happen after I returned home. It was really delicious either way, though my stomach really really hated me for both the bell peppers and the onions in the dish. Major ouch.

Cha cha Hamburg fried noodles

Maybe it’s just my subjective impression or are once popular blogs disappearing/slowly dying by the dozen these days? Browsing some German blogs I used to visit more frequently just a couple of years ago, I found a lot of these bloggers no longer being active and some of the blogs even deleted. The same seems to be true for some formerly very popular international bloggers. Seeing the posts of people who used to receive dozens of comments per post now get a mere handful makes me sad. Genuinely sad. Sad because theirs are/were among the blogs I’ve been following for the longest time. Sad because they deserve more readers valuing their posts. The quality of their content, creativity of their recipes hasn’t decreased so: what is it? Where have the readers gone? I’m figuring Instagram plays a role in people gravitating more to it but … to this extent? really? If you are any wiser than me here, share your thoughts. And while we’re on the topic …

Over the past few months, I know it must have looked like my blog was dying or I intentioa. Posts became more and more rare, infrequent and the whole blog less personal. To say this saddened me a little would be an understatement. It wasn’t intentional, either.  If you’ve been reading for a while, you might know I’ve been working in a field different from my originally chosen one and looking for one in the latter. For a long-ish time now. Anybody who has been in this situation before will know how hard and disappointing the searching game can be. It definitely is for me. What else it brought, though, and increasingly so, has been doubt. Doubt in my abilities as writer. Doubt if I’ll ever find a fulfilling job again. This eventually lead to me doubting my blogging skills, too. If you saw my drafts folder, you’d shake your head at the amount of posts lined up yet not making it to the blog. I’m writing these lines late on Wednesday night. and hope I won’t regret pouring my heart out here tomorrow. And I’m not looking for sympathies. Just trying to explain and at that maybe even understand myself a little more. Sometimes it takes writing things out to truly figure out your life.

Admitting to a problem is said to be the first step to overcoming it. So this is my first step. While I don’t have another post lined up for this week – even the one you’re reading is a very spontaneous one – I’ll make a bigger effort to get back into the game.

Ending this post on a happier note because amongst all the self-doubt in my head, a colleague’s request brightened my day a little. She’s getting married and asked me to make a few batches of my healthy Snickers Truffles to serve after the ceremony in the registry office [the actual marriage isn’t until next year]. The fact alone she still remembered these – it’s been quite a while and she was on maternity leave for a year, only returning in September – made me smile and I’m feeling honoured to contribute to her wedding in even such a small way.  Okay, that feels too much like self-promotion so over to you:

Tell me what’s been on your mind lately – the good, the bad, the in-between!

Happiness-inducing today: The somewhat odd remark/compliment (?) an older client gave me upon leaving the office. It’s those little things …

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No questions today but just any thoughts you have on the topics above.

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